My 25 Favorite and Unfavorite Christmas Songs

Christmas music.  We're all subject to it for about 40 days a year.  Some songs we love.  Some songs we hate.  My favorites may be your least favorites.  My least favorites may be your favorites.  Let's fight about it.


December 1st

25) Best: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Ah, good old Christmas schmaltz.  To be, the holiday season doesn't begin until I hear this song.  It's simple but effective.  I can't help but agree that, yeah, it IS beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  I chose the Michael Bublé version of the song because it's the only one of his covers that I can't get sick of.  Pandora Radio's Christmas station loves them some Bublé, so I've grown weary of many of his tracks.  But you can't really get this song wrong.  There is charm and playfulness abound.

25) Worst: The Christmas Song

And here is where I begin to alienate everybody.  For many people, this is their go-to song to kickoff the season.  It is, literally, THE Christmas song.  I understand the nostalgia and sentimentality of this piece, but as a song, it just grates on me.  I hate the hook and melody.  It feels like Nat King Cole is just stumbling his way through the song.  There isn't really a sense of direction.  It's just a list of things associated with Christmas, followed up with "Oh, by the way, while I've got your attention, Merry Christmas."  At least "It's Begnning" is implying that all of the Christmas stuff we missed from last year is starting to gradually come back.  This song just dumps it all on our doorstep and expects us to organize it.

I do like the phrase, "Although it's been said, many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you," because it's like the song is sick of itself by this point, but it's still worth saying.  There are many songs I consider far worse than this one, so I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy it if it's your favorite.  I've just been tired of it since the first time I heard it.


December 2nd

24) Best: We Need a Little Christmas (Muppet Version)

Originally from the musical Mame, I will always associate this song with the Muppets, thanks to the best Muppet Christmas special in existence, A Muppet Family Christmas.  This song opens the special as the gang gathers together on the road for the holidays.  What I like about this song is that you can sing it at anytime of the year, since sometimes you just need a little Christmas, right this very minute.  It's a great "let's drop everything and just celebrate" song.  With the Muppets in tow, you know that fun, friends, and family are sure to follow.  (Also, this is my token Muppet song for the list, so some honorable mentions go to "Pass It On" from Fraggle Rock and "One More Sleep 'Til Christmas" from The Muppet Christmas Carol.)

24) Worst: I Want a Snuffleupagus for Christmas

And here is my representative from the worst Muppet Christmas special, Elmo's Christmas Countdown.  I tore this special apart previously but I need to stress how much I loathe this song.  It's a reinterpretation of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" which...I already don't like very much.  Novelty Christmas songs are very hit-or-miss and many of them miss with me.  As someone who is very in-tune with his inner-preschooler, for some reason, I just cannot get on board with overly cutesy fluff.  Maybe it's because I feel as if the creator of the song knows that it's not supposed to be good so they don't go out of their way to make any of it redeemable.  But this version of the song takes an extra unnecessary step.  Former Sesame Street specials were all about creativity and were quite mature in tone.  Here, it's just pandering to the lowest common denominator.  "Kids like the Big Bird.  Anne Hathaway's popular now.  Let's put them together and have them sing a crappy duet."  "Good idea, here's a million dollars."


December 3rd

23) Best: Have a Holly Jolly Christmas

Here's another one of those "hear it everywhere songs."  Like "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas," it signifies the start of the holiday season.  But what makes it a little more fun is Burl Ives's delivery of the lyrics.  I enjoy some cover versions, but I like his subtle awkward pronunciations of the words, like "Chrismis" or "kisser once for me."  The words are a little bit rushed and slurred the whole way through the song, as if we are actually at some holiday party and everyone is a few egg nogs deep.  If you haven't noticed it, give this song a second listen and, oh by golly, you'll see what I mean.

23) Worst: Do They Know It's Christmas?

I'll admit, I do enjoy this song for how weirdly misguided it is.  Yes, it's Christmas, and yes, we should remember that there are less fortunate people in the world, even during the holidays.  But must we be so condescending while we sing about it?  Band Aid gathered many celebrities together for one noble cause, to raise money for poverty in Ethiopia.  But it seems like while they were writing this song, they scribbled down all of their asides and accidentally put them in as actual lyrics.  "Hey, why are we singing a Christmas song for Ethiopia?  Do they know it's Christmastime at all?"  "Look, just thank God it's them instead of you."  There is really no forgiving these lyrics.  It's like a parody of itself already.  Any song that has the phrase "clanging chimes of doom" is obviously self-aware, right?


December 4th

22) Best: Run, Rudolph, Run

Sometimes, if you're a character in a movie, you need to rush during the holidays.  Maybe you need to catch a plane or deliver a package before the post office closes or get the last toy at the store.  In any fast-paced Yuletide scenario, Chuck Berry's "Run, Rudolph, Run" is the only think that should be playing in your mind.  And yes, it's not "Run, Run, Rudolph," even though that would make more sense.  Either way, it's the only reindeer-related song I can enjoyably listen to.

22) Worst: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Speaking of Rudolph....okay, musically, I don't find the song that bad.  It's fun to listen to and sing along with.  But yeesh, what horrible subject matter.  This is even worse than Do They Know It's Christmas? because the morals that are being taught in this ditty are terrible, rather than simply misguided.  Santa doesn't mind when um...deerism(?) occurs amongst his herd.  All of the other reindeer are terrible to this guy due to a birth defect and Santa turns a blind-eye.  He doesn't step in until Rudolph's flaw is useful to him.  Ah, good old opportunism and exploitation.  That's what the kids should sing and smile about!  Did anyone care about Rudolph's feelings once during this song or the various cartoons and books it inspired?  Nope!


December 5th

21) Best: Where Are You, Christmas?

Please ignore the movie-tie-in music video for How the Grinch Stole Christmas and just enjoy the song.  The best thing to come out of the movie by far was this song.  Sometimes you need a power ballad about your seasonal depression, lamenting how the holidays sometimes just don't live up to expectations, the way they once did in your youth.  Penned by Mariah Carey, it captures any pent up aggression you may be feeling during the holiday season and shares it with the world.  It may be over the top, but it feels so good to listen to that release.  It also meets my personal criteria in that songs must get more epic the longer you listen to them.

21) Worst: Christmas Magic

I had forgotten about this song until I watched the previous music video, and I remembered everyone's other favorite "singer wandering through snowy evergreen forest" video.  This has become an inside joke of sorts amongst my friends, as we cannot seem to go one year without someone reminding us that this video exists.  What is there to say?  It's "Christmas Magic," one of the blandest money-grabs in holiday music history (and that's saying a lot).  I'm not going to make a joke against Ali Lohan, because I don't blame her for this song.  I blame everyone else.


December 6th

20) Best: Here Comes Santa Claus

While I may give Gene Autry a lot of flak for his deliberate attempts to make Christmas earworms about absurd situations (ahem, Rudolph and Frosty), he knows what works.  "Here Comes Santa Claus" is strangely intertwines the secular and the religious into the arrival of Santa, but it is so catchy and fun that you hardly notice.  There are so many songs about Santa coming for Christmas that they seem to blur together.  But despite the repeated themes, I love each and every one of them because, to paraphrase this song, thank God for Santa Claus.

20) Worst: Santa Baby

Aww, why'd you have to go and make Santa Claus awkward?  I know, grown-ups want things for Christmas just as much as children.  But kids can get away with all of their desires for material possessions.  Adults just sound greedy when they have a long Christmas list.  And the implied...bribes that seem to go along with every single cover of this song just make me shudder.  Yes, it can work for humorous effect, and I've seen some great renditions of it.  But if you aren't an exaggerated character like Miss Piggy, you probably shouldn't be singing this song.  Stop hitting on Santa, please.  He's married.  And immortal.


December 7th

19) Best: Christmastime is Here

Thanks to A Charlie Brown Christmas, the Vince Guaraldi Trio will be forever linked with Peanuts.  I chose the instrumental version of the track as the representative of the special, but that doesn't diminish any of the other pieces, like "O Christmas Tree."  This is just great, mellow background music for any holiday party, hangout, or just while you're working throughout December.  Charlie Brown would prefer it if we didn't go for some over-the-top, commercialized ditty when choosing our Christmas music.

19) Worst: Snoopy's Christmas

And here is the opposite approach.  The Royal Guardsmen, a band in need of a hit, borrowed the established lore of Snoopy and the Red Baron to ensure success.  And had the songs actually been good, I wouldn't mind so much.  But it just comes off as cheap.  They didn't ask for Schulz's permission for the use of his characters.  They just went ahead and wrote it.  They even came back in 2006 with "Snoopy vs. Osama."  This is one set of songs that deserves to be skipped.


December 8th

18) Best: That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!

Sufjan Stevens makes beautiful music.  Naturally, he is drawn to Christmas music, as he has released many seasonal albums.  The best is his third volume of the Songs for Christmas series where, right after a moving "We Three Kings" and "O Holy Night," he hits us hard with a very depressing take on the holiday.  There are very few lyrics, as he chooses to express his feelings (as he often does) with a haunting melody.  You have to read between the lines to get a full grasp of what is going on.  Sometimes Christmas isn't all fun and games, and I can't think of a better song to capture the negativities that surface at the end of the year.

18) Worst: Christmas Shoes

Speaking of downright terrible Christmases, the boy in "Christmas Shoes" isn't having a particularly swell time.  His mother is dying and he needs to buy her shoes for when she meets Jesus tonight.  You can't discuss this song without mentioning Patton Oswalt's glorious takedown of everything wrong with the premise.  What really gets me is how self-indulgent the singer of the song is, claiming that God destroyed this innocent child's life to teach the singer a lesson about the true meaning of Christmas.  Had he left that part out of the song, it would be a lot more tolerable.


December 9th

17) Best: Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

This song is secretly amazing.  By now, we've all heard it many times, but I still get chills listening to it.    It's short and simple, so there is never any need to skip it, and it provides a great upbeat atmosphere to any holiday party.  But the fact that Brenda Lee was only 13 years old when she recorded this is just so impressive.  Even with that knowledge, you can't picture it.  She sounds so good!  And yes, I cannot hear this song without picturing a Michael Jordan cardboard cutout attached to a miniature train set.

17) Worst: Little Saint Nick

Most rock 'n' roll Christmas songs tend to end up in the "meh" category for me, but I can tolerate them just fine.  Most of them anyway.  I don't see myself ever coming around on the Beach Boys' "Little Saint Nick."  All I hear when I listen to it is just a poor version of "Little Deuce Coupe."  And I particularly dislike the phrase "Christmas comes this time each year."  Maybe in another song, I'd find that line clever, but it just sounds tacky.  The Beach Boys did much better with their jingle-bell-infused "God Only Knows," but despite its use in Love Actually, I can't categorize it as a true Christmas song.


December 10th

16) Best: Must Be Santa (Bob Dylan Version)

Some songs wouldn't even be on this list were it not for great cover versions.  And, as someone who is not a huge Bob Dylan fan, I love this version of "Must Be Santa."  It embraces the drinking song, call-and-response vibe by upping the tempo and giving it a polka flair.  I liked the original song as a child because it's very easy for kids to join in.  But over time it fell into obscurity.  Dylan brought it back and made it amazing.

16) Worst: Santa Claus Is Coming to Town (Bruce Springsteen Version)

And sometimes, a cover just doesn't work.  I really enjoy various versions of this song, including the Jackson 5 cover or the short and sweet Smothers Brothers version.  But I really can't bear the Springsteen version that always pops up on the radio.  I'm sure it's great for intelligent reasons that I'm not aware of.  I never claimed to be a music guy.  But I just don't like it.  He sounds drunk as he sings it, which may add to it's charm, but it just feels like a sloppy, sloppy performance.


December 11th

15) Best: Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

Written as a protest song during the Vietnam War, John Lennon's classic "Happy Xmas" has remained a holiday staple for every year since.  It still presents an optimistic attitude that one day (or even just at Christmas), all war can cease and there will truly be peace on Earth.  It may be naive or short-sighted, but this is one of those songs that just needs to exist in the world.  It goes right alongside that classic 1939 cartoon "Peace on Earth."  Each promotes the same message, and it's one worth revisiting, year after year.

15) Worst: Wonderful Christmastime

I hope you saw this one coming.  Each member of the Beatles attempted a Christmas song after the band split, and Paul McCartney easily made the worst one by far.  If we, as humans, had just let it fade into obscurity, I probably wouldn't hate it so much, but it is everywhere!  I don't think I've ever actually listened to it the whole way through (and I'm not about to start now).  Something about that synthesizer riff is so unwelcoming.  I'm sure someone's done a great cover of it, or maybe you can argue that it's a hidden masterpiece, but I don't really see how anyone can enjoy this song non-ironically.


December 12th

14) Best: Christmas at Ground Zero

Novelty acts are rarely the sources of high art.  And novelty Christmas songs are probably the worst creations in this field.  Shoddy attempts at a quick buck at the end of the year.  If we're lucky, they go away, but some remain long after they are necessary.  The best novelty Christmas song is by the king of  musical parodies and pastiches, Weird Al Yankovic.  I'll admit, it took a while for this song to grow one me.  I thought it was average and the music video was unimpressive.  But now I find it to be one of his best songs, if not his most clever.  The video really sells this song's charm.  By combining stock footage from the 1950s of holiday traditions and nuclear bomb scares, Weird Al offers a glimpse at the world that tries to force the optimistic and the pessimistic.  Like the classic Monty Python song "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life," "Christmas at Ground Zero" argues that, sure, the world's gone to hell, so you had might as well have a merry Christmas.  (A later song on this list will tackle the same message in a more serious manner, but for now, enjoy the "Nuclear Winter Wonderland" vibe from this one.)

14) Worst: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

Strange how song about the death of all humanity seems to be classier than an elderly lady running into a caribou.  While this song also brings a festive cheer to a dismal situation, this song just reeks of "Look how funny I am!"  The music video is filled with overacting and stupid costumes because, well, it's a stupid song.  But Dr. Elmo, jokes are a lot funnier if you quit reminding the audience that you're telling them a joke.  Musically, the song is terrible, meaning you have to rely purely on the joke to get you through the song.  This is why a lot of comedy music fails.  Jokes are never as funny the second time you hear them, but songs are intended to be listened to more than once.  At least Weird Al is talented enough to make his songs enjoyable on repeated listens.  This may have been a funny song once, but it's more like something you'd break out at a comedy show once, and never speak of again.


December 13th

13) Best: White Christmas

While the Bing Crosby original version of "White Christmas" is marvelous and wonderful (and nearly made the list by itself), I have to give the edge to the Drifters' cover, as made popular by the film Home Alone.  Whenever I'm enjoying the original, I always find my mind drifting to the Drifters.  They make it a little more fun rather than melancholy.  Waiting for snow is a lot better when you're enjoying the wait.  The singers are clearly having a good time trying different variations on the theme.  And how can you not mouth along and scream due to aftershave burn?

13) Worst: Blue Christmas

I know, I know, everyone hates me now (if I didn't lose them at "The Christmas Song"), but hear me out.  I think the idea behind the song is great, the lyrics are wonderful, and even the melody can grow on me.  But I just don't feel that Elvis is sad enough when he's singing this song.  He's got that upbeat twang to his voice which makes it seem like he's mocking people who are sad at Christmas, rather than actually feeling the pain.  There have been many wonderful covers of this song (including my favorite version by She and Him), but thanks to the original, my instinct is usually to skip any version of the song when I hear the words "Blue Christmas."


December 14th

12) Best: The Twelve Days of Christmas (Relient K Version)

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" is a fine song...until you hit day 3 and you understand how much longer you have to wait until the song is over.  That's why I prefer Relient K's sped up take on the song (which also provides commentary throughout, like "What's a partridge?" and "I can bet those are terrible gifts to get").  This Christian rock band truly embraces the rock aspect of their genre.  The harmonies and different variations throughout the repeated lists of gifts keep the song interesting, making it the definitive version of the song.

12) Worst: The Twelve Days of Christmas (Any Other Version)

Relient K kept things to a nice short 3 and a half minutes.  Every other version is longer.  Or it at least feels longer.  This includes every parody version as well that involve the twelve ______'s of Christmas.  They may be enjoyable and funny the first time, but 5 minutes is way too long for this song.  We get it! Your true love gave you a lot of gifts!  Shut up!

12) Honorable Mention: The Twelve Days of Christmas

(Straight No Chaser Version)

Okay, now this version is great and funny.  It plays on our expectations by messing up the order and devolving into a medley of other Christmas songs (and Toto's "Africa" for some bizarre reason).  But for some reason, we are only able to listen to the live recording of this performance (even on the radio). That's fine for the most part, as it's fun to hear the audience's reactions...until the singers get to "The Dreidel Song."  For some reason, the audience just FLIPS OUT at this moment.  Look at the time stamp of this video.  The whole piece is 3 minutes 30 seconds, just like Relient K's version.  Those extra 30 seconds are due to the audience applause after the "Dreidel" bit.  That is 1/7th of the video.  It just ruins my enjoyment of the song because we have to pause for half a minute until the song can start up again.  It's okay for like the first 10 seconds, to acknowledge the joke, but did they have to keep going?  It's not that funny.  Without it, this could be the shortest version of the song on record, but thanks to the audience and their "huh, huh, he sang a Hanukkah song" moment, I can't call it the best.


December 15th

11) Best: Sleigh Ride

Thanks to the popularity of Christmas, the holiday has swallowed nearly every song that has to do with winter, even if they aren't particularly Christmas themed.  My favorite of these wintery songs is "Sleigh Ride."  I chose the instrumental Boston Pops version as the best, but if you want lyrics, definitely go with the Ronettes.  Let's face it, winter isn't exactly the best season.  It's cold and dreary most of the time.  But "Sleigh Ride" highlights just how fun the season can be.

11) Worst: Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Initially, I had no problems with this song.  Then along came Pandora Radio.  Apparently, they take my request of a Christmas music station and decide that means, "Oh, you want to hear 20 different versions of 'Let It Snow!' in a row?  If you insist!"  I now have a knee-jerk reaction whenever this song is played.  You know how you can only skip a certain number of songs in one sitting before Pandora locks you out?  I waste all my skips on "Let It Snow!" covers and I still am met with dozens more.


December 16th

10) Best: Christmas Canon

Okay, I'm a sucker for Pachelbel's Canon and all of its variations and subsequent "4 Chord" inspired pop songs.  The Trans-Siberian Orchestra (known for some pretty epic Christmas music) simply took the music and placed Christmas-y lyrics over top of it.  And it works!  For me, at least.  It's not very clever or artistic, but it sure is pleasing to listen to.  Of course, they came back 6 years later and gave this song its own epic flair with "Christmas Canon Rock," which I actually prefer 50% of the time.

10) Worst: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

While some musical artists make a living primarily on Christmas music alone (re: Trans-Siberian Orchestra), everyone else has to force a token holiday album upon us because it a) is easy, b) is quick) and c) makes for a few extra dollars at Christmas.  While most artists get away with just covering Christmas classics, there is inevitably the token original song.  In my opinion, no other song perfectly encapsulates the worthlessness of these songs (artistically and musically) than 'N Sync's "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays."  Now, while "Christmas Canon" was a lazy endeavor, it works.  It brings something new to the table and it has it's own charm.  "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" is lazy and isn't shy about how lazy it is.  It came out immediately following the success of their first album.  "Hey, we're popular and you guys like Christmas right?  Well, let's just repeat that phrase over and over again while you laugh at Gary Coleman."


December 17th

9) Best: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

For the record, I like the Judy Garland and Frank Sinatra (and nearly every other) versions of this song equally.  But Judy Garland's is the original, and it keeps the bleaker line about having to "muddle through somehow."  This is supposed to be the standard melancholy Christmas song.  It reminds you to suppress your problems throughout the holidays and wait until the New Year for the weight of the world to crush you.  It's depressing, yes.  But the song doesn't always have to be.  Some crooners enjoy bellowing out the more positive message of the lyrics and ignore the original subtext.  Sometimes, it sounds better this way.  Sometimes, you want that kick in the gut, though.

9) Worst: Feliz Navidad

Haha, I love this song.  For a minute.  Then I move on.  I chose a video with the lyrics on screen because this song deserves it.  I appreciate that the screen fades to black after each verse, even though we get the exact same lyrics again right away.  Since I don't have much else to say, let me just repeat what I wrote for the last song.  This is supposed to be the standard melancholy Christmas song.  It reminds you to suppress your problems throughout the holidays and wait until the New Year for the weight of the world to crush you.  It's depressing, yes.  But the song doesn't always have to be.  Some crooners enjoy bellowing out the more positive message of the lyrics and ignore the original subtext.  Sometimes, it sounds better this way.  Sometimes, you want that kick in the gut, though.


December 18th

8) Best: Little Drummer Boy (Josh Groban Version)

People seem to strongly hate "Little Drummer Boy," and I can't imagine why.  Yes, I'll admit playing a drum for a newborn baby might not be the best decision, but it's still a fun song.  Nonetheless, people actively try to avoid it, as seen in the popular Little Drummer Boy Christmas Challenge.  But I urge them to listen to Josh Groban's powerful version of the song.  The lyrics do seem a little sillier when he is singing with such passion, but, man, is it beautiful.  (Honorable mention goes to Bowie and Bing.)

8) Worst: Deck the Halls (Mannheim Steamroller Version)

Mannheim Steamroller's Christmas music has been described as something "an Orwellian totalitarian state would pump into the air to help citizens dutifully celebrate the season."  I couldn't agree more.  The music sounds as though it's being tortured, being forced to bend to the whims of a maniacal composer.  "Deck the Halls" specifically is my least favorite (since I hear it the most often).  This song doesn't fill me with Christmas cheer.  It threatens me with Christmas dread.


December 19th

7) Best: All I Want for Christmas Is You

There have been a lot of Christmas love songs and a lot of attempts at creating new "Christmas standards," but only Mariah Carey managed to capture lightning in a bottle.  How could you not enjoy this song?  It presents a plea for a Christmas reunion, but unlike all of those similar songs ("I'll Be Home for Christmas," "Please Come Home for Christmas," "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)," "Home Christmas Home," "Please the Baby Home (at Christmas)," and "Closer to God"), it doesn't get overly sentimental or whiny.  It is just pure fun and excitement and it makes you want to sing it to the person you love.

7) Worst: All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

I'll grant you, it's "cute" and "funny" the first time you hear it as a child.  After that it becomes "grating" and "nauseating."  Something about that falsetto voice just eats at me.  As I said before, I'm not big on novelty songs, yet they constantly resurface every year, just when you'd forgotten all about them.


December 20th

6) Best: What's This?

So, if I didn't already have a lot of favorite Christmas songs, this would be my favorite Christmas song. Jack Skellington captures the glee that is discovering Christmas for the very first time.  It's a testament to Danny Elfman's singing and score that we can accept a song that features the line "There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads," as part of our holiday canon.  It's seems like every whimsical children's film since this movie has used "What's This?" as it's trailer music.  It just wonderfully captures the spirit of the season in a new and exciting way (with a dancing skeleton leading the festivities).

6) Worst: Baby, It's Cold Outside

Apparently, this song was composed by songwriter Frank Loesser who sang it with his wife at the end of a holiday party as an exit song.  His wife got upset when he sold the song, since she felt it was theirs and theirs alone.  I sort of wish it had stayed theirs.  Just as I believe any premise can work for a story, I also believe any preise can work for a song.  But the idea of having a playful "mouse and wolf" routine that hints at sinister intentions and singing it as a romantic love song makes me (and many others) a bit uncomfortable.  I'm really torn with this song.  It sounds nice, but it also sounds awful when you really listen to it.  Basically, I have an easier time listening to it when Zooey Deschanel is the wolf and not the mouse.


December 21st

5) Best: The Nutcracker

Am I cheating by putting the entirety of Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker on this list?  Yes.  There are so many wonderful pieces of music throughout that provided great Christmas mood setting.  Need something energetic?  Go for the "Russian Dance."  Need something simple?  Listen to the "Chinese Dance."  Need something grand and epic?  Look no further than the "Waltz of the Flowers."  I feel the entire composition is some of the best classical music ever created and, since it isn't really outwardly "Christmasy," you can listen to it any time of the year.

5) Worst: Jingle Bells

If I went the entire rest of my life without hearing "Jingle Bells," I wouldn't mind one bit.  At least in the version I'm sharing, the singer goes through all of the actual lyrics.  Everyone else just seems content on singing the first verse and the chorus over and over again.  It just seems so tacky and immature.  It falls into the same trap that a lot of overly simples songs do.  It's like "Happy Birthday" or "The ABC Song."  If an elementary school band can perform it perfectly, then there is no need to hear it again post 5th grade, unless you are going to do something radical with it.  And no, "Jingle Bell Rock" doesn't count as radical.


December 22nd

4) Best: White Wine in the Sun

For those of you unfamiliar with his work, Tim Minchin is a strongly talented Australian musical comedian.  Despite his penchant for humor, he turned out this powerfully sentimental and moving ode to Christmas from an atheist's perspective.  Written for his then infant daughter, Minchin notes that although he may not ascribe to the religious slant of the holiday, he does not want to diminish the good that it brings the world.  It's the coming together of family that makes Christmas so special.  While it's not a groundbreaking idea, he brings such strong emotion to the piece that you cannot help but get overwhelmed with holiday warmth.  I posted the older live recording of his song because I like that the audience is set up to think that this will be just another silly song.  If live recordings aren't your thing, he released an equally moving studio rendition in 2012.

4) Worst: Fairytale of New York

Okay...this one takes a while to explain.  The song actively tries to make you hate it, so after seeing this song appear on many "best" lists, I was very taken aback when I first listened to it.  Over time, it has grown on me, mostly because I like me some Irish music.  I do not think this is a bad song.  In fact, it is a great song.  But the fact that people consider it to be their "favorite Christmas song" is just so depressing to me.  This is not a song I enjoy suddenly hearing during the Christmas season.  You're listening to the radio and then, all of a sudden, you're forced to listen to the uncomfortable subject matter of a relationship gone wrong.  This is a song I need to be in the right mood for.  It's not a song you put on your Christmas party playlist.  It's a song you listen to when you want to take a good hard look at your life.


December 23rd

3) Best: Somewhere In My Memory

Home Alone might just be my favorite Christmas movie, and part of the reason is John Williams's amazing score.  And while I greatly enjoy the frantic adventure theme that is "Holiday Flight," it's "Somewhere In My Memory" that puts me in a warm, fuzzy Christmas mood.  The song pops up a few times throughout the film, but I chose the opening titles as the best version, as it starts with the creepy hijinks music then settles into the soothing melody of the song.  John Williams managed to create a holiday song that feels as if it's been around forever.  The images of a Christmas night with loved ones gathered around the fireplace and feeling "that gingerbread feeling," are just so magical.  This is Christmas wrapped up in a single song.

3) Worst: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Like many of the "innocent" songs on this list, this one just gives me the heebie-jeebies (which isn't helped by the voice of the original singer, 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd).  So we have this 13-year-old who still believes in Santa Claus spying on his parents on Christmas Eve?  He sees his mother kiss a man dressed as Santa who is either a) his father, b) Santa himself, or c) a third-party dressed as Santa.  Assuming it's not b or c, because that would imply infidelity, the child of the song still thinks it is the one and true Santa.  Why does he think his father would be delighted by this news?  Does this kid grow up in an extremely progressive family?  I can't quite put my finger on it (maybe it's the phrase "tickle Santa Claus"), but this song gives me the willies.


December 24th

2) Best: Carol of the Bells

I just can't get enough of this song.  Whenever I need some good, creepy, intense Christmas music, I can always count on "Carol of the Bells."  I enjoy many covers as well, including "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24" by the Trans Siberian Orchestra.  But you just can't beat the Mormon Tabernacle Choir when it comes to vocal power in your Christmas music.  And speaking of the MTC...

While I've got you here, I just wanted to give honorable mentions to the entire 1970 Mormon Tabernacle Choir Joy to the World album.  It contains "Joy to the World," "The First Noel," "Deck the Hall," "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel," "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," "O Come, All Ye Faithful," "O Holy Night," "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing," "Here We Come A-Caroling," "O Tannenbaum," "Silent Night," and of course, "Carol of the Bells."  I'm cheating for placing 12 songs here at my number two spot, but I grew up with this album and it was yearly tradition to listen to it while decorating the tree and again while opening presents on Christmas morning.  Every song on this album is gorgeous.  I have the 1970 original, so I don't have those three extra songs at the end, but I feel the 12 that are on there are perfect as it is.  I urge you to seek it out if you can.  These are the best versions of these songs.  Well, maybe there is a better version of "O Holy Night" out there...

2) Worst: Silver Bells

If you love this song, I wish you a very merry Christmas.  I hate "Silver Bells."  I hate it.  I don't know if I can put it into words.  I just hate it.  Maybe it's too slow for me, or maybe the hook just doesn't work with the rest of the melody.  Maybe it's the lyrics, which don't provide any new insights about the holiday.  Maybe it's the fact that they didn't go with the hilarious original name "Tinkle Bells."  Actually, yeah.  Think about that.  I'm of the mind that, as long as the music is good, it can overcome any poor lyrics.  But mentally replace the word "silver" with "tinkle" in your brain.  Doesn't that just make the song ten times worse?  All of its flaws become a lot more noticeable.  Once again, I have to rely on Zooey Deschanel to save me from this song (because at least she uses the slow pace and simple lyrics to somehow make the song both playful and mournful).

I think I just realized A Very She & Him Christmas is nothing but covers of Christmas songs I hate, therefore redeeming the existence of these songs.  Good job, Deschanel and Ward.


December 25th

Since I don't want to end things on a negative note, I'll swap around the order today.

1) Worst: Do You Hear What I Hear?

It's Christmas Day, and so we have a song about the birth of Christ naturally.  But why did they have to make this song so annoying?  Not only does it get the story wrong (since I don't think King Herod was too thrilled to hear the good news), but it also shows that people (and sheep) are terrible messengers, as each person distorts the original message as they pass it along.  What really irks me is the musical format.  All I hear when I listen to this song is teasing.  The lyrics are very similar to "I know something you don't know," while the melody sounds similar to "Nana nana boo boo!"  While every other song on my worst list has some tolerable cover version out there, I have not found a single recording of this song that redeems it in any way.  I feel as if Jesus deserves a better song to announce his birth.

1) Best: O Holy Night

This might just be one of the most beautiful songs in existence.  Only the most skilled singers can achieve proper mastery over it's notes, so while there exist many great versions, I've had a hard time tracking down that perfect cover.  I heard it once on the radio.  It had a female singer and a backing chorus and it was just flawless.  But since that is such a vague description to search for, I happliy pass the time with Josh Groban's cover, Celine Dion's cover, Sufjan Stevens's cover, or Eric Cartman's cover.  Really, anybody who sings it (and manages to pull off that killer high note or cleverly disguises the fact that they can't) partakes in the creation of something wonderful.  While everyone has their favorite Christmas song, there is no denying that this is the song to beat.

Oh, here's one more rendition, for posterity's sake.  See how long you can last!